Tears of Joy!

I've finished vacuuming, I've finished doing the dishes or I've done washing clothes.

In this time my girl has been playing by herself, amusing herself with imaginary creatures and of course annoying the dog. Once I've finished whatever I've had to do, I seek her out.

A lot of the times we then play together making toy animals talk to each other or she just listens to my puppet foot talk to her, which she always will answers back to.

Sometimes I find her playing... so engrossed, she does not sense I am there.

These are the times that I just look, watch, observe. These are the times as I see my Angel playing make believe or counting coins or doing anything a child does, liquid envelopes around my eyes.

What is it? I need to know?

Was it the power, to have created something? Or, is that just vanity? Is it remembering how she was?  Is it seeing how she will be?  I'm lost! I just can't understand why I get so emotional just looking at her, being with her.

Then I came to a realisation… IT IS LOVE! 

A love, no one can ever really feel until they have a creature scribbling on walls, telling you, 'don't' and putting things in inappropriate places. The thing is when they're just sleeping, Oh my God, they do look like a gift from Heaven! And I'm not Religious!

AM I just a woos? AM I weak? AM I overly emotional?  ….. NO!

I have found in someone else what I have been missing from me, someone with so much innocence, new ideas and imagination and that's what it was all about! I have created a Life and that is the greatest feeling of all. I think That is the meaning of Life!

That is why I cry when I see her.. I'm Not tearing up out of Fear. Not out of Hope. Not out of Vanity.

It is out of PURE JOY!!!!

I have a little water coming out of my eyes now. 

What is it?  

The best F!@#%ING feeling of ALL!!

Tears Of Joy!

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Words

From my previous Post, To Smack I mentioned the trauma it can cause to your child, well all that goes with emotional/verbal punishment as well.

The words and the way we impart them should be thought about before being vomited in the direction of a child. Yelling and verbally abusing can actually harm a child leaving a deep psychological scar. Even subtle comments stick!

I've found, being Latin I've been used to raising my voice, not out of anger, it's just the way I am. Sometimes I've found myself succumbing to certain threats to make my child cooperate and I've found this can cause a worse fear i.e. abandonment.

How many times have you found yourself saying, For example,"Well I'm going without you, you can stay here", or even just, "bye, bye"! I've found these spurts of threats have given the message that I can't stand being with her (which wasn't my intention).

Being a father so late in life you'd think I'd be more mature but I didn't realise that saying things in an emotional knee-jerk reaction, or refusing to talk to her if she has done the wrong thing is all a great big emotional smacking as well as being so much more childish than what my intelligent daughter had done or not done.

Thank goodness I've gotten rid of such behaviour. I now take that split second to stop and think before reacting purely out of emotion thereby giving myself time to formulate the words needed to comfort rather than threaten. In doing this I've found we interact more, I get to the core of the issue and have the ability to resolve it without causing even more emotional problems and feelings of abandonment.

Words are so powerful and should be used in promoting a positive and joyful upbringing.

Now that I've gotten these last 2 posts off my chest I can return to the times we have had and will have knowing all is well in this relationship between a father and daughter.

Cheers

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