Long Time No See

Oh boy, oh boy! Well, what can I say?

Long Time No see?

It certainly has been a long time since I've touched the keyboard to attach a post to my forgotten little site. You see, I have been extremely busy doing absolutely, well nothing really. The truth is, I am one lazy writer and trying to put my thoughts or remembrances down have been put off until the following week. Unfortunately that week keeps eluding me getting further and further away, by then my week has morphed into a month. The little bugger of procrastination developed into more than a month and grew into months until I eventually caught the little man sitting on the couch watching The Hobbit and gave him a quick boot up the ass to get the DANSER out of him and with that subtle persuasive action I guess I had to start writing again.

So, here I am! Putting letters down to form words that have no real baring on the state of the world but rather just some happenings of a little girl who has a clueless father.

Hard At It!

I must admit a few things did happen in the months I had been hard at it. I shall be brief in getting you all (reader of 2) caught up in the world of Raising Amelie.

October 2012- December 2012: We were almost in a state of homelessness due to the owners of the abode we occupy wishing to sell. Within the 2 months we searched and searched for a new house to no avail, always missing out to others until as fortune would have it an investor bought the very home we live in and we could stay. Glad that was over!

Almost Our New Residence

Celebrating with an ice-cream, sounds good. Just try and get some in the mouth.

MMMMM

December 2012- January 2013: After unpacking boxes we had already packed for the imminent move, Christmas was upon us. Amelie pre-schooling has gone well and has made some special friends. Of course being in school means Parents need to attend certain events around this time of year especially. 

Orchestral?

After which. The tree was decorated, gifts were ready to be ripped open, all was good in our small world. After the presents were ravaged, let's just say the household is now all Apple'd up with iPhones, iPads and a new Macbook Pro (Mine!). My little tech head wasn't left out as she received from yours truly an iPad Mini. She has a better handle of its workings than I do. Glad that was over!

Happy Happy

January- February 2013: After the excitement of Clauses' visit had died down the 25th of January arrived and that day happens to be my little Daughters Big Day. She turned 5 though she already seemed far older and wiser than that number might suggest. After the cake and the presents were ravaged my little computer nerd had an excuse to spend more time outdoors as now she had her own swing as well as a water feature.

Ready

Go

Slide

February 2013- March 2013: Finally the time came for my little academic to attend school full time. Amelie is gone 5 days a week, 7 and a half hours a day. My days are simpler yet a little emptier. The good thing is that she is enjoying all that she is now learning and soon she will be able to give me lessons in all things intellectual. Can't wait!

How Do We Look?

So what can I say? Long Time No See? No I don't think so. What about Glad To Be Back? Yes, that's better methinks. And if the Danser strikes once more and I do lose my way again, I now have a special map to guide me back home to my "Precioussssss"

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Zoo Danser

It's been a long, long time between posts I know, and that is probably caused by my brain being wired to underachieve. As it's no doubt known, laziness is caused by the amount of dopamine—a neurotransmitter involved with memory, processing emotions, and motivation—in certain brain regions that determines if someone is a go-getter or a slacker!

So, lacking in dopamine—a neurotransmitter, D-A-N-S-E-R for short, makes me the aforementioned Slacker.

Being a "DANSER" has made me uncoordinated in processing my emotions and has certainly prevented the motivation for those certain brain regions to move and thereby impeding my ability in adding anything here since the last post.

That said,  I decided by someone else telling me, it would be a good idea that we go to the zoo. Why? I don't really know... Anyway, we did.

I won't say much other than it was a long day, especially being my Highnesses official Charioteer as well as being my Queens Chancellery, opening the coffers for those whims of assorted sordid ice-cream delicacies and such.

None of which I'll show here, I was the ...

The Charioteer

The Lifter

What's That in the Back?

Ahhh, MAYBE HE'LL HELP

Glad You Arrived

HELP ME PLEASE

Hold It Right There

OH

There He Goes, Cheers!

Well, I guess it's just up to me to continue being the mule... so off we go then.

WHERE ARE WE?

Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride

It seemed like I took a wrong turn and stepped through a time vortex landing us, by the look of these, in Jurassic Park.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS

What?

I KNOW WHAT THAT IS THOUGH

Aha!

IT'S A PTERODACTYL

Extinct Not

SOME PRIMITIVE MAMMAL THING

Koala

A CERATOPS OF SOME KIND

Mate!

AND A SABRETOOTH KITTY MINUS THE SABREs

Cutie

Obviously there were many more animals my paleontologist and her man servant (me) saw and we did have a marvellous time. After leaving the Zoo my happy girl had a swing in a playground and ran around a bit on the grass collecting flowers until...

RUN

Be Free

SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE CHARIOT

Oopsy

And a happy ending it seemed, oh my. Well this DANSAR is going now as I've lost the motivation to continue.

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Plants vs Zombies

I was away for a while and returned to find the Zombies were still here... OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Something has got into those neurons that assist us Humans to go forth and conquer! Those parts that put us apart from the mere Zombies whose whole being is to walk around and eat and devour this Earth. Those that have no care and just feed... leaving the carcasses for the rest of us to pick up and try to discard. Those that just use... use....and use...  then expect the rest of civilisation to go and grab the pooper scooper. Oh once again I digress....

Plants vs Zombies?AAAAARGH

Can I say it has become an addiction for a certain plant-human? Should I even say who it is? I mean really, how could it have gotten this far? How could such a thing become such an obsession for one so intelligent?

An obsession can be described in many ways depending on what the obsession is... the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image or desire.... I suppose, says I.

The domination of one's thoughts? No I don't think so.... Just go  now as I have Zombies to kill!

Amelie: "Papa? Can I go back on?"

Papa: "NOOOOOOOOOO! I need to win!"

Amelie: "Papa, I already did that level."

Papa: "!#@$%!%^$#@$%... you could have told me 2 hours earlier!"

Amelie: "I did, you Zombie"

Plants vs Zombies? Not good for those over 40.

Good Night. Oh hang on, there is a little bugger trying to get through  oh, I'M ON IT!

Amelie: "Paaapaaaaaa! C'mon!"

Oh NOOOOOOOOOO! Going now.

They ate my brains in more ways than one

How could it become such an obsession? I mean really... Damn you Plants vs Zombies.

About Time!

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Gone leaving the Zombies behind

I have gone to see my Parents in Sydney and having doing so have left something behind that is the whole of my being. I wonder what that could be?

I wonder what you could think it could be? That which is my wholeness within me pondering that there is something missing and that can be once again whole, considering, that I have gone.

If you didn't understand, no matter, as I lost myself there too.

Unless....? It was that wholeness that gave me the thought and feeling of ONE that is the cause of the emptiness of the whole within me?

But really that is neither here nor there. The reality is, I have gone to the other side of this vast country without my co-pilot.

In the short time I have been away, it has been hard on both of us. She has cried at my departure I have cried at departing. She has cried on Skype because she doesn't have me there helping her with Plants vs Zombies.

I have cried because I'm worried she may erase the level we are at on Plants vs Zombies. Ohh the tragedy of distance!

Seriously though, even if all above may seem fictional to you, it is not. I have just omitted the real whole that is in my heart. As I miss my Zombie Killer the moments I'm away.

I have Gone!

I miss my Mimi! 

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Moment in Time

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A photo/s capturing a moment from the week that may or may not have words. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment you want to pause, savour and remember.

Sometimes it's about me.

If you have a Moment just leave your link in the comments section so we can all have a snoop…

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School Begins

I was going to do a post on my babies first day at school but I couldn't as I was an emotional wreck! Maybe later... or not...

She is growing up so quickly

I have grown since then too

Needless to say, everyone was crying. Enjoy being with your children as it doesn't seem to last long.

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Lego. Stand Back

I had the joy and frustration yesterday in that I spent some time playing with my 'Architect' with those most famous of activity implements... Lego. 

Oh the joy in having your little one so enthused in creating something special from these blocks of plastic, oh the frustration when Papa tries to assemble the different parts she has created to make a whole construction.

Yes, frustration. Why? 

Well, through no fault of my 'labourer' I had what can only be described as "butter fingers" or the inability to realise that certain areas just may be overlapping a little too much thereby being somewhat heavy causing our structure to tip and collapse into a broken mess of tiny tiles. When this happened I was met by screams from my 'foreman' that I won't be getting paid anytime soon.  After explaining that this Lego may be inferior to others of the same ilk I was allowed to continue assisting. Needless to say also destroying what was turning into some behemoth of a design.

You see, I think the last time I touched Lego was when I was in my very early youth and I seem to recall I wasn't much good at it then either. Must be the quality of the pieces as it certainly can't be my lack of understanding in the laws of physics and construction.

Ahh Lego, Lego, Lego, I suggest you get a professional or stand back! Now... where can I hide the bloody thing? At least my head honcho was delighted with my efforts or was it the peanuts?

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

What is this? A Vulcan Mind Meld? Oh NOOO

Yet before this, my Vulcan said, "I have a gum ( no Typo ) that will shoot you with fire, water and smelly turtles!  Bam! Bam! Bam!! You are now stinky!!!"

Hint Hint. Someone was having a lazy day I suppose and needed a mind meld and threats.

"Thanks Amelie, I shall shower now if my mind hasn't been wiped and if I can get up!"

"That's all right Papa, I was just pretending. I didn't shoot, but you are stinky. I'll help you get up with my mind."

Damn Vulcans...  They get me every time! Now I'll have to do something.

Live long and Prosper

Out of the Mouths of Babes, "Something that you say when a small child says something that surprises you because it shows an adult's wisdom and understanding of a situation."

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Enjoy The Silence

Playing games is essential for your child in learning how to interact with others. It teaches them that it's not all about winning but rather how you can have fun learning and playing. This is one of the lessons I am trying to teach my little John McEnroe.

I call my competitor that name because it seems winning is what it's all about! Well my friends I have served an Ace!

You see there is a Game that has been devised by "moi" (and probably by many parents) that I am quite thrilled about. I can honestly say that, in this particular Game my young contestant is encouraged to win every time and at any cost.

This Game was invented for the joy it brings. Really though it was inspired for the sole purpose that I may keep what little sanity I have left whilst in the process of driving miss Daisy in the rather beat up old jalopy.

Can you guess what this marvellous Game is? I won't keep you in suspense as I know you are screaming to know. Well my tortured chauffeurs of little ones or those who have to sit beside/ drive around people who have the inability of closing their windpipes...

The Game is called Silence! Yes I know, brilliantly original you say.

The rules are quite complex so pay attention! They are as follows...

1. The driver or the one being tortured with non stop garble, screaming or incomprehensible chatter announces that an exciting Game is about to commence.
2. You tell your unruly passenger/s that the person who can be Quiet the longest Wins!
3. Then my fellow transporters, sit back and enjoy the ride!

Silence is really only a Game Away. And my small muted one wins every time... go figure?

Enjoy The Silence

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Holding Hands

What is it with hands? What is it all about when someones hand is in your own it's all good but when that someone happens to be your child it is different? Why is it when that little hand is clutching mine I turn to jelly? Why is it when my daughters palm is against mine I feel such Love, such Hope, such Despair, such Devotion, such Joy, such Security, such Insecurity, such Fear? Why do I silently cry when those fingers are intertwined with mine?

I feel so much Love and Joy at being the Protector, the Nurturer, the Father clasping that hand. I feel I can Influence, Guide and Teach by being a Library of Knowledge. The Library of Ancient Alexandria!

Then why do I feel so Scared or so Sad?

Is it because I have lived and gone through all the shit in life I have been through to be where I am now? Am I just too sensitive or am I just insecure? I don't know!

As all I see is a small hand holding mine and when I feel it grasping mine with such Love and security I just break.

Can someone tell me..... I just don't get it!

What is it about Holding Hands?

"I fear everyday with such Love or is it I Love everyday with such Fear?" Alejandro

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Incomprehensible?

I really don't know what is being said to me. I don't understand.

What am I hearing? A noise is reverberating from a distance. I can make out the muffled nuances and that they sound rather upset, yet. What? Oh well, unless that someone who is blaring incomprehensible words actually comes closer there is no way I will hear them, will I?

Can't they see, I'm busy? I am listening to something oh so much more comprehensible... Just look!

Comprehend That!

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The Force is Tangled

In the last week my movie critic has been enraptured, (was it because of the Rapture?). Of course not, what a whack-job!

Amelie has actually been entangled by a certain film. This film is actually what I used to call a cartoon. What? No, not anymore apparently. What do they call them now? Oh yes, let's go with a Computer Animated Fantasy Musical Film or Computer-Generated Imagery, CGI or what I like to call a 'Bloody Cartoon'. (That does not reference actual blood and gore for those who are not au fait with the Queens English)

The Grimm's. Not the happiest looking blokes. Hence their Name.

It's like most Disney 'bloody cartoons' that are borrowed from old Fairy Tales, in this case from those Brothers Grimm. It has its usual on the wrong side of the tracks, loser, stealing male lead (Flynn) and the beautiful heroine character who can take care of her own if need be. They both break into song eventually... (of course) And most importantly the villain, yes, usually a woman and a mother figure (Gothel)

What was it with Disney or the Grimm Boys with their obsession with mothers who are portrayed as bad surrogates eventually coming to a nasty end? Or in Disney's case many 'bloody cartoons' with No Mothers at all. For instance Pinocchio, Aladdin, Peter Pan and Beauty and the Beast to name a few.

Well, I digress as the real issue here is how many times is my engrossed fairy tale eating small person going to watch this Film De Animation or "bloody cartoon?' By my count it has been so far 21 times in a week and a bit. This does not include it was the first and only Movie my patron has seen at a cinema. C'mon!

Ok, there is a character in this 'filemme' whose name is Maximus and his characteristics are very similar to our own member of the family who goes by the same name. The only real difference is in the 'bloody cartoon' it is a horse not a lazy dog. Yet today I thought I had entered another dimension, a place that is my place but not really my place because my tangled mess of anoverly obsessive 3 yr old asked me something that will go down on my calendar to stay for a long time, possibly in a galaxy far, far away.

It went like this, "Papa, can I watch Star Wars with you?"

I know people... hold back the tears as I am trying to right now as I recall those words. Give me a moment.

Good That Is, Yes?

We both sat, I felt like this was a pivotal moment of my young Padawans training in knowing the Force and all that shall come from that knowledge. It was the time and it had to be done correctly.

So which movie out the six do you pick first?  Surely I don't have to tell you, as it has to start from the beginning which is obviously Episode IV: A New Hope.

Once we were seated in a mantra position I pressed play. It started! Can you hear it? The John Williams theme, the bang as STAR WARS comes on the screen and then the scrolling introduction to a New World?

Questions are being flung at me with every sentence, every scene shown. I respond with words of wisdom or is it because I have seen Star Wars a million times and know the truth?

30 minutes in, my young one gets off the couch and heads out of the room. No worries I think, she must be hungry or thirsty. A little time passes, I worry, so I go to investigate as to her whereabouts. In what I now call the Sith Lords play room, there was my apprentice.  I felt like Obi One. Thinking to myself, "This is the path to the Dark Side! WHY oh WHY?"

Lying on a lounge is my young Skywalker being hypnotised by those Lords of evil, (Disney and the Brothers Grimm) I can see her vacant eyes, totally lost in believing a 'bloody cartoon' is more important than knowing the Force!

Damn the Computer Generated Animated Fantasy Musical Film Adaptation of 

Rapunzel that is called Tangled! 

Damn You!

I still have hope that my teachings will bring her back to the
light side of the Force, until then let's sing along...

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The Nose Knows

What is it with the nose?

Why, when something is said that is false; the nose has to be hidden from view?

A hand is placed to conceal the untruth or better yet, hide behind a pole, a pillow or even the dog. "I'm not dropping my food on the floor." "I'm not going to touch your phone." "I promise I won't do that ever, ever again!" "I did wash my hands." "I didn't hide Maximus' ball." Every time these words are said to me, I see half a face staring back at me.

I think, why is a hand or something else is being used to conceal the truth. When do we learn that what we are saying is not true? How do we know what a lie is? I'll tell you how!!

Bloody Pinocchio that's how! Oh yes another bloody Disney cartoon! A film about that cute little marionette who Geppetto lovingly made, who he wishes to be a real child.

Since my little wooden girl has been watching this animated movie she has been hiding her snout after a fib just in case it begins to grow, since Pinocchio is known for having a short nose that becomes longer when he is telling a lie.

Could it be my fault when Amelie says something that is giving herself away, I ask my impressionable girl,"Is your nose growing?" Should I say oops? I know that a psych nurse or a professional Parenting Guru would disagree with my words and tell me, "You terrible dad! How could you?" You know the ones? Those with all the wisdom but only have a puppet as a real child, e.g. those with no children of their own and wishing upon a star.

But hey. I do what I do with my limited knowledge of child rearing. And Pinocchio will always be to blame!

A side note: From Wikipedia the source of all, or maybe nothing. We have here....

The Pinocchio Paradox: There is a popular conception that Pinocchio's nose grows only when he lies. Under this condition, the Pinocchio Paradox is an analogy for the liar paradox, expressing the dilemma of what will happen if Pinocchio says, "My nose will grow now." If he is lying, his nose should grow, but if his nose grows, then he is actually telling the truth. On the other hand, if he is telling the truth and his nose starts growing, then it will violate the condition that his nose grows when he is lying.

I wonder if my Stringed Puppet would understand that?  I certainly don't!
Or do I? Is my nose growing?

The nose Knows

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