Kicking

The night time ritual has not changed. (No... we are not Satanists) I mean the same routine in getting my 'sleep-a-phobic' to bed has not been altered.

You see... even though the routine is the same as in Dinner, a little TV, Story Time and brushing of teeth, the hour being the same and as well as the bed being the same there seems to be a slight discrepancy. There are also the same excuses as mentioned in an older post but now with a little more in-depth questioning.

Yet... It has changed.

There was once a time when there was a cot, a cot that the 'one', so we thought, could not escape from and was happily Sleeping In.  Well it was just a cot really. Anyway, that cot had had its day when my little acrobat took a nasty fall. The very next day we bought a bed and that bed has been doing its job quite well, until now!

It's the wee hours after midnight when I am awaken by a 'thud', that wouldn't be a problem if this whack was somewhere other than to the back of my head or back. Thank goodness I have not as yet been kicked somewhere where men will cry about for days.

What has happened? Why is the bed not doing its purpose? Is it the stories she listens to at story-time or some shows she watches on television? As now my football striker is afraid to be alone in a dark room and has been for the last couple of months using me as a practice soccer ball in my bed. Even if we put her down later than usual I still find a new bruise the following day or a leg that is stopping the flow of oxygen entering my mouth.

I seriously wouldn't mind so much if those legs attached to the little bed hog were kept on the other side of the bed and the headaches I have in the morning were self induced after a good night of partying.

What do we do to keep my future 'Beckham' to stay in her own room? Or, if she is in my bed, stop her legs from occupying the whole space and kicking a squashed, comatose man?

I think foot-binding may be a little extreme but I am seriously considering it.

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Dr. Seuss, what have you done?

Your books are entertaining my bookworm no end. I just can't wait until she learns to read as I'm getting so tongue tied. Even reading them slowly I still get them wrong. aaarrggghh.

Now I have a Dr. Suessette living with me.

As if it's not hard enough to get her to sleep. As I've mentioned here.

Now we have to listen to this...

I'm not sleeping with Mimi
I'm sleeping with pipi

I'm not sleeping anymore
I'm not sleeping with an apple core

I'm not sleeping with the dog
I'm not sleeping on a log

"Amelie, please go to sleep now!", I interject.

I'm sleeping on a cloud
I'm sleeping now.

Dr. Suess, what have you done?

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Who changed the routine?

It's bed time, a hard time most of the time, what am I saying? I mean every time, it is a battle of wits to see who exhausts themselves out first. Tonight was no exception but with a twist. The usual way is this.

And the procedure is,

1. Books have to be read. (The thing is, if not specified the number of tomes to be read, ends up to be a library volume on your lap).

2. There is one TV show she watches before bed. (The Night Garden). Which to my relief she had gone off but "WHAT?", now is revisiting.

3. Music has to be on in the bedroom. (Is it for making a child more intelligent? Or is it to drown out her protests?)

4. There has to be a bottle of milk (it's either, that Amélie still wants it or.. is it more a case of needing it? Has it become habitual? Or another form of drowning out the protests?).

5. Then there is the 'to and fro-ing' from my comfortable lounge where I go towards the screams emanating from My Banshees bedroom where, when I arrive have to answer every conceivable question known to man.

6. Lastly. The last time I visit her chamber, it is to lay down the Law! (Go To Sleep Now!!)

But Tonight.

1. Books have been read. (Yes, a maximum of 6 were all that could be deposited on the lap).

2. The TV program she likes which can I reiterate, I cannot stand! Wasn't on, Hah? NO problem, let's go to…

3. Music is on and playing Bach or was it Queen? (Who changed the station?)

4. She definitely is given the milk. ( As I'm sure I said is needed to have her mouth occupied with something other than calling out?).

At 5. Something went horribly wrong! Tonight there wasn't the 'to and fro-ing', as something or someone had put the order of things out of sync….!  Someone had left the TV on and there coming from the box was the theme song of her program she enjoys before going to bed. Only now, it has been put back an hour! An hour later? A whole HOUR LATER? What the? And now these anonymous Television programmers by adjusting the time of this show have put me and the routine out of sorts!

There is now, no number 6.  But back to..

2.  There is one TV show she watches before bed. (The Night Garden). Which to my relief she had gone off but "WHAT?", now is revisiting.

A side-note before I continue.. Firstly here in Perth, there is no Daylight Savings. Secondly, it may be school holidays yet, this program is for children under four years old who are not attending. By these two reasons alone, why would the programming be changed?

Even so... though she is dead tired my committed fan still wants to watch it.

So… We say not a problem and off she heads to the bedroom. What for?

Of course (silly me). There she is coming back with mostly everything from her bed… bar the mattress that was obviously a little too heavy for her. Nevertheless, everything else that has been appropriated is placed on the couch and there Amélie is, with her pillow, a blanket, 5 stuffed toys and her bottle of milk.

That's when I ask.

"Amélie? What the? Why have you brought everything here?"
"Papa, because it's sleep time and I'm nice and comfortable!"

Don't worry, the routine wasn't totally lost as we did get back to number 6 eventually, only an hour later. (Where I got to lay down the Law! Go To Sleep Will You!!!!).

Goodnight!!!!
So...Where's my milk?

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I haven't yawned yet

Amelie has never liked sleeping. She has, since August refused even to have her siesta as well. By the time it is her night time bedtime my 'Girl that never sleeps' , no matter how exhausted she is still refuses to go down quietly.

There has always been an excuse as to why it is not time to sleep.

She then keeps her herself awake by continuing to talk to us or just to herself.
These are some...

• Papa excuse me, I have something important to say. If a bird falls out of its nest I will grab it and hold it tight!

• I'm sorry Papa but if a bear snatches my milk then you will have to get it back. You'll have to tap it on the hand and he will have to give it back to me.

• No wait a minute Papa, I heard a tweet tweet, it's a bird outside my window.

• Umm, I'm sorry but I didn't brush my teeth and the teacher will say, 'Amelie you will have to stay back!'.

• You didn't tuck me in correctly.

• I'm not tired!

• It's still daytime outside.

• You see my eyes are still open.

• But Papa I haven't yawned yet, see?

All questions or comments need to be responded to and are, with all the wisdom my many years have provided... "Just go to sleep!  Will Ya!"

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