31 Dec 2010

Time alone


I sat, I listened, I watched...
I wasn't comfortable, I heard nothing, I saw my life passing by

I thought, I tidied up, I fidgeted
Thought of what my life could've been, re arranged my mind closet, and fumbled with a cigarette.

I know I love, I know I am doing my best, I know I am a Father
Love hurts, my best is not good enough, I never wanted to be a Father.

But a Father you are, a friend you are, you are the protector
I know I am, I'm glad I am, I'm afraid I'll have to be!

I want peace, I want quiet, I want romance
You want your old life back?

No.. you don't you selfish bastard!!!

Image by Vali... via Flickr

Why are you feeling this way?

Because I'm a dad. And I'm scared every second of every day about my daughter!!!! 

You just want time alone.....



SJ said...

Alejandro, we all have those moments, those thoughts.

Who really goes into this wanting it to be anything but perfect, who wants those heartache moments, those what do I do now moments, all that responsibility and being the person that is to set the examples, be the role model and so much more.

No one knows what they are doing, we do what we can the very best we can and its the way that you go about it that makes you a good father. You are entitled to your own space your own moments, it doesn't make you selfish and if you have those moments she will thank you for it because it will give you more to be able to give her. x

AngelJane said...

And there's nothing wrong with that... Us mums want that on a regular basis. It's nothing to be ashamed of my lovely friend! Happy New Year take time out occasionally, recharge those battery's... You'll see, it will do you and your family the world of good!

Mwah :) x

YogaSavy said...

Wanting your own space is not selfishness.It is human nature to want to be alone.To reconnect or re charge.
We were never given a handbook on raising children. What matters is the love and connection you have with your daughter.
Take care

Jim said...

Don't swear in front of your kids.
Don't smoke while they are around.
Don't wish you had time alone...

because all too soon, those times are gone, and you'll wish those times were here again.

alejandro guzman said...

All comments are so true from you very beautiful women.

And Jim... Don't swear in front of your kids.
I don't
Don't smoke while they are around.
I don't
Don't wish you had time alone...
I try not to

And you are so RIGHT mate!!!!!!!!!

I had to get it out, and I did (with language I shouldn't have used) But I feel so much better!

next time it shall be a different way to vent!

Bless you all. Happy New Year as I am Happy!

Cheers to all. My life is good!

Anonymous said...

Like the brutal honesty. . .that's what life and writing should be about. Kids aren't the only ones who need time-outs sometimes :-)

Kathleen (One Tree Past The Fence) said...

your life is good, and you see that it is.

Everything is as it should be.

: )

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