23 Nov 2010

Tears of Joy!

I've finished vacuuming, I've finished doing the dishes or I've done washing clothes.

In this time my girl has been playing by herself, amusing herself with imaginary creatures and of course annoying the dog. Once I've finished whatever I've had to do, I seek her out.

A lot of the times we then play together making toy animals talk to each other or she just listens to my puppet foot talk to her, which she always will answers back to.

Sometimes I find her playing... so engrossed, she does not sense I am there.

These are the times that I just look, watch, observe. These are the times as I see my Angel playing make believe or counting coins or doing anything a child does, liquid envelopes around my eyes.

What is it? I need to know?

Was it the power, to have created something? Or, is that just vanity? Is it remembering how she was?  Is it seeing how she will be?  I'm lost! I just can't understand why I get so emotional just looking at her, being with her.

Then I came to a realisation… IT IS LOVE! 

A love, no one can ever really feel until they have a creature scribbling on walls, telling you, 'don't' and putting things in inappropriate places. The thing is when they're just sleeping, Oh my God, they do look like a gift from Heaven! And I'm not Religious!

AM I just a woos? AM I weak? AM I overly emotional?  ….. NO!

I have found in someone else what I have been missing from me, someone with so much innocence, new ideas and imagination and that's what it was all about! I have created a Life and that is the greatest feeling of all. I think That is the meaning of Life!

That is why I cry when I see her.. I'm Not tearing up out of Fear. Not out of Hope. Not out of Vanity.
It is out of PURE JOY!!!!

I have a little water coming out of my eyes now. 

What is it?  
The best F!@#%ING feeling of ALL!!

Tears Of Joy!



SJ said...

Those moments never change, what they do does but you still get the same feeling regardless. Love is unconditional in this respect and amazing.

Even when times are particularly tough my little boy surprises me with more insight and empathy than I see in most adults.

It's an amazing post - love it!

alejandro guzman said...

Thank you SJ you are so right!

Rhianna Writes said...

This is a beautiful post and the epitome of parenting.

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