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3 Nov 2010

Words

From my previous Post, To Smack I mentioned the trauma it can cause to your child, well all that goes with emotional/verbal punishment as well.

The words and the way we impart them should be thought about before being vomited in the direction of a child. Yelling and verbally abusing can actually harm a child leaving a deep psychological scar. Even subtle comments stick!

I've found, being Latin I've been used to raising my voice, not out of anger, it's just the way I am. Sometimes I've found myself succumbing to certain threats to make my child cooperate and I've found this can cause a worse fear i.e. abandonment.

How many times have you found yourself saying, For example,"Well I'm going without you, you can stay here", or even just, "bye, bye"! I've found these spurts of threats have given the message that I can't stand being with her (which wasn't my intention).

raining words; in a moment

Being a father so late in life you'd think I'd be more mature but I didn't realise that saying things in an emotional knee-jerk reaction, or refusing to talk to her if she has done the wrong thing is all a great big emotional smacking as well as being so much more childish than what my intelligent daughter had done or not done.

Thank goodness I've gotten rid of such behaviour. I now take that split second to stop and think before reacting purely out of emotion thereby giving myself time to formulate the words needed to comfort rather than threaten. In doing this I've found we interact more, I get to the core of the issue and have the ability to resolve it without causing even more emotional problems and feelings of abandonment.

Words are so powerful and should be used in promoting a positive and joyful upbringing.

Now that I've gotten these last 2 posts off my chest I can return to the times we have had and will have knowing all is well in this relationship between a father and daughter.

Cheers

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3 comments:

Deanne said...

A nice post and a good daddy for taking the time to learn and grow. They are our greatest gifts!

Deanne <3

alejandro guzman said...

You are so right Deanne, cheers for dropping by.

Rhianna Writes said...

Stopping and thinking when parenting is always advisable when parenting. Not always practical mind you. And certainly easier said than done. I think that awareness is the key though. Being aware of the effect your words and actions have is of the utmost importance

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