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Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts

14 May 2011

Is it a cold? NO it's Man Flu!!!

ohhh! Man Flu!

It started on a wet, dark and gloomy day here in Perth. (actually it was sunny with a nice breeze) but for more impact on how serious this is, let's go with dark and gloomy OK.

On this day that will go down in infamy, I sneezed! Yes The Sneeze that makes the walls shudder, the sneeze that erupts from your very soul, The Sneeze of Sneezes! The one that tells those in my household that all is not well and shan't be for as long as I can milk it  I feel better.

Man Flu is in itself the worst that one can bare (or is it bear?). It Grabs a hold and doesn't let go, it tortures you to the point you can't rise from your bed or in my case the couch with 14 channels to choose from.

The women in this home don't seem to understand the seriousness of my ailment. I say this because when one has this debilitating almost deathly cold  Man Flu, one needs constant attention and care. Not to mention Tissues and plenty of them!

So to find in the morning after the first sneeze that, said Tissues are no longer in their appropriate Tissue Box but rather strewn around the sick mans bed, I almost died, if I don't die from this unbearable influenza! The culprit must have seen how poorly I was and in an effort to make things right repacked or rather stuffed the tissues in their proper place.


I was thankful don't get me wrong but the problem with this was that every snot rag I tried to extract from the box came out in pieces. This made blowing my schnoz difficult to say the least.  Half a tissue means blowing one nostril at a time. Being as ill as I was am this took great effort and care. Unfortunately though it wasn't too successful either.  Thank goodness for soap and water.

I know you are thinking now, "you poor, poor manchild  person. How can you go on?" Well I say to you that I will overcome this cold Man Flu in my own good time all ways that I can fight it with my very being! I know it will take a while to get over it, let's say a week? Or is that too long? OK, maybe 4 days should suffice but it will be hard and I certainly need the sympathy to make me feel that I am loved.

Now can someone press the button on the remote? It seems a little heavy in my weakened state. Also a tea would be nice. No make it a wine... Cheers *Cough*, ohhhh!


You can leave your sympathies below and I'll try and respond when able.
read more "Is it a cold? NO it's Man Flu!!!"

13 Aug 2010

Music

I heard a strange noise...

It was coming from my girl's bedroom...
I got closer, it got louder...
I peered into the gloomy room...

First to hit me was an odour...
Then the noise came again loud and clear.... it was my flatulent offspring.

"Wow, are you ok? That's quite a loud pootpoot."

Amelie responds as only she can, "My bottom's making Music!."


It sure was! It was so loud and going for so long it was like a Bach or Mozart Crescendo.

I let my Musician continue as I headed outside for intermission and some fresh air.



read more "Music"

21 May 2010

The caca continues...

Kitchen; morning; sunlit;

Papa, "These eggs are going to be delicious."

Amelie, "I want caca."

Papa ,"Amelie caca is disgusting."

Amelie, "I like caca. I like to eat it."

Papa, " Yuck that's disgusting!".

Amelie, "I will put it in a pan and cook it and eat it ALL up."

Papa, "OK then, I need to take you to a doctor as I need a DNA check, because this is definitely freaking me out!"

Amelie, " But papa, I want to eat your caca too!".

Papa, " OH SHIT!"

read more "The caca continues..."