3 Jan 2012

How Now Brown Cow

Amelie starts school in a months time and so I need to brush up on my English skills. I certainly need to study a lot just in case I was to be asked anything in relation to the written word in this rather bastardised language.

You see, having Spanish blood coursing through my Latin veins I can read Spanish as well as speak it. Reading the Español is quite straight forward as really what you see is what you get, phonetically speaking. English on the other hand takes a little more to decipher. Let's take a small point for example...
  1. I have a list of, let's call them 'straight' words... Now, Cow, How, Pow, Vow and Wow. All of these read and sound the same, not a problem. I get it.
  2. Now let's throw in the one's that 'swing both ways' such as... Bow and Row. I don't get it as much.
  3. Lastly we have the 'asexual' in the vocabulary... Tow, Mow and Low.
For the swingers there is a straight forward solution. Why not make it easier to distinguish between the two pronunciations by adding a silent K (btw, another conundrum for me) so we now know as with now and know that bow is like cow but then with the K becomes kbow like know. Easy yes?

With the asexual group there is a way to make Tow join the party and that is by adding er to it so we get Tower unfortunately for some unknown reason it still won't seduce Mow and Low, they still remain Mower and Lower. So what can we do?

Well let's help Low who seems Lower than before by adding letters in front and see if they can assist in pulling it out of it's rut.   Blow?... No!    Flow... No!     Glow?... No!     Slow?... No!  Wait I have it! The mighty P. 

When put it in front of Low, what do we get? You guessed it, the aphrodisiac Plow! We did it! But what about poor Mow? I fear there is no hope for it, it must stay on it's own.

"So Amelie I'm sure my explanations and ideas in making reading English far more understandable has helped you in advancing through school with no problems at all."

How Now Brown Cow? What about Mow?

Oh while I'm here what is it with, Tough and Bough? But that's a different story...